MY DAUGHTER’S MOTHER By Priya Murali Doss

 

PREFACE: 

“Present day daughters need no advice – rather mothers can learn from their daughters! Strange, but, true” are the message of this two page article. To hear from one such mother has its own authenticity.

She stands tall at 4.9, oval face (though I still miss the rounded face she was born with), long hair and a dimpled smile – meet my daughter Shreya. Did I tell you that I always dreamt of having a daughter that when she was born the first question that popped out was “Is she fine”?, which caught the doctor off guard.  Ask me why I wanted a daughter? Well I just liked the idea of a girl who’ll share all her thoughts, secrets, and dreams with me and share the world between us.

 The growing up years:

 

On a typical day we are ready to face a combat of words and attitude. I see her hanging around by the window taking the fresh air and dreaming away. She’s a born dreamer; only I get tired of her waking dreams. Her famous one-liner, “Amma, can you wait for 2 seconds?”

Only her 2 seconds is a misnomer.

One has to be there to admire her pace. “Amma, I’d like to do things my way. Don’t worry I’ll take care of everything” she says. She stands there poised, cool and collected.  She has her set of books, her cartoons and her friends (her lifeline), which she guards with all that she has.

Yesterday she came up to me and said matter-of-fact, “Don’t ask me anything Amma. I’m in a bad mood. I had a tiff with my friend, but we’re going to be okay” and off she was!

She certainly doesn’t need any sympathies! Should I be proud and happy that my daughter is so independent and takes her own decisions? I for one, even today call up my mother for suggestions. Old school of thought!

The other day I tried to explain to my princess (over some petty issue) that she ought to heed to my advice for I still value my mother’s. Pat came the reply, ‘Amma, you have to grow up!’ 

Fallon Heffernan is a daredevil with roller blades. She has a move called the “back-flip” that always surprises the crowd. My daughter is on the same league, only she doesn’t need roller blades to make her move! Girls grow real fast. Don’t be surprised when yours asks for her space where she doesn’t need you! She belongs to the new breed – confident, unrepentant, carefree and cool!  Offer suggestions only when it’s required. Otherwise you are welcome to be a silent spectator allowing her the freedom of movement and thought. We love them and adore them all the same. Maybe it’s time I gather myself and learn a thing or two from her. What say you? 

P.S. Hello there. I’m sure it rings a bell somewhere. We’re a very contended lot. If my neighbor’s girl is no different than mine then there’s some sense of comfort. I’m not alone in the world. Happy Parenting!